Author: eharris149

Benjamin Franklin is very famously accredited with the phrase “Honesty is the best policy”. But why is it so well recognized? Does the message itself hold any credence?

In many creation stories, the devil figure is always the first to bring pain, or suffering, or something of the sort into the world. Most famously, Satan, who took the form of a snake in the Garden of Eden; acted as the catalyst for the fall of man when he deceived the first man and woman. This deception took place in the form of a lie. As the rest of the Bible takes place, we see that when the Devil comes around, nothing good is about to happen.

So let’s say that lying came from the Devil, would this mean that lying is inherently bad? Well, yes it would. Do most people agree with this? No. If you were to ask a random person if lying is ever ok, they might give you an example that goes something like this:

Let’s say you have a wife. You love my wife very much, but not quite as much as yourself. Let’s say y’all go shopping and she tries on a dress. Now your wife has okay taste, but for some reason, she comes out of the fitting and asks the famous question “Does this dress make me look fat”. Unfortunately, the dress does indeed make her look fat. What we up the anty even more? what if the relationship is currently on the fringes, what if you’ve already had two strikes today? Is it ok to lie here, after all, how often will she even wear the dress? faining ignorance would nary arouse suspicion right? this is a question for a woman right?

There is a common phrase “too much of a good thing is a bad thing”. But I say, if this were the case, would there really be any good things? Does the value of Gold change based on the quantity? How about love? What about kindness or generosity? Could there be a bad quantity of these things? I don’t think so…

So lying in this example may work as a quick fix. You say no, the wife buys the dress everything is working out, right? Well no. Now you have constructed a reality with your words and actions in which the dress your wife bought does not make her look fat. Not only this, but you are now forcing your wife unknowingly to continue existing in this false reality! Is this a big deal? Yes, there are an infinite amount of ways in which your manufactured reality and the real one can clash. I’ll admit this is a silly example but it is dangerous for any relationship to be based on false pretenses. Bridges can get burned, feelings can get hurt, or worse.

Maybe there are some places the reality you’re living in which don’t line up with the real world. You should fix this. So if you accept the fact that honesty is ideal in the long run than maybe you’re thinking, I’m going to be honest 100% of the time. How do you deliver bad news, or “harsh truths”?

Two ways come to mind, the first is the compliment sandwich. This one consists of sandwiching the bad news in between two compliments. Using our previous scenario, the compliment sandwich might look something like this: “Well dearest, I love that color on you, however, it does make you look fat, but I think a bigger size may look even better”. The psychology with this one is that the recipient of the bad news will be distracted by the good things you have told them and therefore take the harsh truth better. After all, a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down. The second method for delivering constructive criticism is known as “the velvet hammer”. The velvet hammer is being as direct as possible when presenting the problem, while also bringing a few solutions to the table. In our example, it might look something like this. “Honey I think that dress does make you look fat, but I feel like we can find one that would be more appropriate for that dinner party we’re going to next week”. I like this one because it shows you care and regard the issue not as pointing out a flaw, but as y’alls problem. It’s hard to say one is better than the other but personally I feel like the second one is more ideal for business situations as you don’t want coworkers to underestimate bad news. But either way, there won’t be a perfect way to say anything.

Just because the right thing to do is, to tell the truth, does not guarantee that no one will get upset with you for doing so. Actually people getting upset with you is arguably more likely. The main character of the most famous book ever, The Bible, is Jesus who spoke nothing but the truth. He ended up on a cross. MLK, Gandhi, Lincon, all died the deaths of martyrs because of their unwillingness to compromise on what they believed to be true. Now there are many reasons which cause people to dislike the truth and when this happens they usually do shoot the messenger. Nobody likes being wrong, and there are few people who will even admit they are wrong. Most people would rather continue to live in a world where the facts do not apply to them.

Smoking is bad. It is a proven fact that putting something in your lungs which isn’t air does indeed have a negative effect on the body. If this is a well-known fact than why is the industry still functional? (The short answer is nicotine) In every smoker’s life, they believe they are getting more utility out of smoking, than the effort it would take to stop for good, and whatever else they could think of to do with that time. I believe the lie here is that utility can be gained in the first place from something which over time can take years or even decades off one’s lifespan. The lie they believe is that lung cancer will not happen to them, or that they don’t need those extra 6 years to possibly see a grandchild. The lie is that it will not affect them negatively, and by the time they realize it has and will, they then buy the lie that quitting is too hard for them or that it is an ultimate pleasure, worth the risks. Have you ever tried to tell this to a smoker? I have not and I doubt it would even help because ultimately their reality is skewed and the only one who can shatter it is themselves.

There are many reasons a person can get mad at you from clearing the smoke and mirrors, but at the end of the day some people just want to watch the show without even considering the possibility of “too good to be true”. Does this give you an excuse to not tell the truth? well it does, but a very weak one at that. It also doesn’t allow you to avoid any of the consequences of lying to others either. If you become persecuted for the truth does this give you the right to become narcissistic? After all, what good are the people who won’t listen to what is true? NO, it absolutely does not. This is just as dangerous as proclaiming falsities. Just as your own mother did not give up after correcting you the first 5 times, you must not give up on your fellow humans when proclaiming what is right. Be honest, and if you’re wrong, be coachable. Nobody gets everything right the first time!

So in summary: 1) The truth is good, do not twist it to fit your agenda 2) It does matter how you say it 3) be sweet!

thanks for reading 🙂

According to the enneagram test, there are not two types of people, but 9! The pacer gram fitness test, oops, the enneagram test is a modern conglomeration of many past ways of judging character. The Symbol for the enneagram which similar to a 9 pointed star has its roots traced all the way back to Pythagoras. The qualities or “virtues” and their counter-parts the “passions” have roots back to Plato, Socrates, and other neo-platonic philosophers from the third century. It was later studied by the Desert Fathers who helped develop the catholic canon. It is believed that this is where the seven deadly sins came from as there is a relationship with each virtue that it comes from a holy idea, and if you lose focus on this idea your ego will become fixated in pursuing something. I guess the relation is that once you become fixated trying to find something that comes from God, but not looking to God for it, you’ll end up sinning or separating yourself from God.

I am a huge fan of personality tests! Not so much like the “what kind of garlic bread are you?” ones, but tests like The Big 16 (Myers Briggs), Jung’s personality test, Personalysis, and this one are great. When done right these tests can do two things, tell you a lot you already know about yourself (and affirm how awesome you are 😀 ); but also tell you about your flaws. Few people like to be told in what areas of their life they need to improve, but, knowing these areas can help you become more aware. Aware of the possibly unbalanced scales when maybe your feelings are on the line. When the stakes are high, are you the type of person who should listen to your emotions? Or could you just be a bit worked up right now…

Nobody likes examining their flaws but learning what things you are prone to can help you recognize patterns or cycles you get into in your own life and how better deal with them too.

So my personality type is a 4; The title of this type is: The Individualist

I’ve often heard it said about me “Some people like to march to the beat of their own drum, but Eric, he doesn’t even have a drum”. Some people may take this as a “diss” but personally I have always taken it as a compliment. What does the website have to say about fours? Basic fear: is that they have no identity or personal significance. Basic desire: to find themselves and create their significance. This is elaborated on and basically, my type can identify as “different” to such a fault that they will assume that no one can sufficiently understand them or what they have gone through / care about. “Fours typically have problems with a negative self-image and chronically low self-esteem” (LOL). Paradoxically. they really hate being alone and have a strong desire to connect with people who understand them and their feelings. It is said that one of the biggest challenges Fours face is learning to let go of the past. They may hold onto negativce feelings about those who have hurt them or become so attached to longing/disappointment that they are unable to recognize the gifts they have in the present. They’re also referred to as the “romantics” of the enneagram.

Many of the flaws of a four stem from Envy, because at the end of the day; a four loves being individualistic but can’t help but envy “””””””regular””””””” people. While reading this I know it is spot on, luckily for me, I believe I have come to keep in check many of the issues my type struggles with. Mainly, it’s because I don’t have to lean on the understanding of man but rather that of God. Do you think God would waste his time making trash? Nah.

Luckily they don’t only list negatives on here! When functioning at a healthy level, a four may possess some of these qualities: The ability to transform all their experiences into something valuable, self-creative (whatever that means), aware of feelings and inner impulses, sensitive and intuitive to both self and others, tactful, gentle, compassionate, highly personal, individualistic, emotionally honest. Serious and funny, vulnerable and emotionally strong.

If your a four hang in there you ain’t all bad! 😀

All my information came from here I advise you check it out if this was interesting to you!

Change is a funny thing. It can bring us new financial opportunities, a new viewpoint, a new experience, maybe even take us to someplace we have never been to before. Why is it that people regard change with such disdain? Maybe it’s because we have had experiences with “change” that didn’t work out so well. For every new financial opportunity, there could be a thief lurking, for every new viewpoint, illogical propaganda, for every new experience, a scar, for every new place, an old familiar sense of despair. Change is scary. But it is better to confront the scariness willingly in hope of something better than to be blindsided by unknown complications due to the unwillingness to adapt. Once you decide that “okay, I’ll risk it for the biscuit“ , and start to welcome change in your own life (either because you’re bored of the current situation or because you have decided to “roll with the punches”) life will start to open up.

Now I have been talking about external changes so far and these are things usually mostly beyond our control. Yes maybe you did get that job, but the skill set you’ve been acquiring is what landed you that interview; or that sort of thing. There is another type of change which is arguably much more difficult to bring about.

This change is the internal one. The type of change that can change your default face from a constant frown to a friendly smile. This type of change can obliterate your entire worldview and leave you starting from scratch. It can be brought about not by natural disaster or military crisis, but something as trivial as the person in front of you comping your coffee; the only price being that they ask you to pay it forward. It isn’t usually this dramatic or simple though, it’s not common for someone to have experience, change a huge thing, and then “never doing (fill in the blank) again!”. This is not uncommon though.

Try examining an average day, look at from a perspective that time wasted is actually a disservice to yourself . Are there things in your life that don’t actually have a real benefit. What about if the excuses “I’m relaxing” or “It helps me decompress” are thrown out the window? Now I am not saying you should never relax. But I am saying that human potential and efficiency is nearly unlimited; and that if you don’t like something that occurs on a regular basis, there is something you can do to make it better.

One fairly common thing people like to change about themselves is an addiction. There are an estimated 18million people in the US who are addicted to alcohol (I’m sure the real number is much bigger but these are the ones who admit it). The most well-known way to combat addiction is the 12 step program or some form of it created by Bill Wilson. This program is used in AA, NA, and many others.

The steps are as follow:

1. Admitting that a substance has control over yourself and it’s made life difficult
2. Come to believe that a power higher than yourself can restore us to a better way of living
3. Make a decision to turn our will and lives over to God as we understand God
4. Create a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves
5. Admit to God and you’re fellow humans the exact nature of our your wrongs
6. Become entirely ready to have this higher power remove all these defects of character
7. Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings
8. Make a list of all persons we have harmed and become willing to make amends to them all
9. Make direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others
10. Continued to take personal inventory and we do wrong promptly admit it
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understand God praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the results of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other addicts, and practice these principles in all our affairs.

So having read these steps you might think hmm, this sounds suspiciously like religious teaching. Many of the places the 12 steps are listed the term higher power and God replace one another at some point. I do believe however the term God is appropriate because whatever you let control, or believe controls you is your God. It is however interesting, how the majority of these steps are contingent with you forming a relationship with a higher power. AA is a household name it it is a way to teach God to people who are quite literally lost in the sauce. How wonderful is that? The higher power doesn’t always have to be God as you think of him as some big man in the sky, but the higher power could be the love for your child, or family members.

The point I’m trying to make here is that change can be extremely beneficial, and while it requires you to have a certain attitude, you must also work with others to fix big stuff.

No man (or woman) is an island, I’m gonna leave you with some words my sister wrote to me when she was a high-school senior and I was a fishy in the school newspaper. “Everyone is put in your life by God for a reason, use them!”

love you sis <3

Everyone wants to “”””look good””””. This could mean being fashionable, or wearing a certain brand and being “hip” looking good is something everyone thinks about and participates in to some degree.

This doesn’t have to be a bad thing, after all I am a huge believer in the “dress for success” method. Have a quiz in some class you’re worried about? Boom, wear a button-up, slacks and a tie. Trying to go out and be productive? Bang, shave, put some moisturizer on those ashy legs. Feelin Yourself, or perceiving yourself as already having the characteristics of someone who has succeeded is an amazing way to give yourself that lil confidence boost.

Now on the other side of the coin we have someone who uses the single indicator of appearance to judge somebodies degree of success or even if they’re worth talking to at all. This is the archetypal mean girl of the school, Cinderellas older sisters, and the likes. Chances are as you’re reading this you have come across these types of people. Chances are also that these people make other bad judgment calls as well and tend to not have really good friends, and when takin out of their place where they do wield the little superficial power they posses, any friends at all. So fashion isn’t necessary but it can be prosperous for all when not used as the basis for resentment in someone else’s story.

What is the 1 thing that is universally attractive (for even psychological reasons), cheaply available, and goes with any outfit?

A Smile 😀

Yes, it’s cheesy, but it’s also true. People love to laugh, and smiling is a product of laughing, this alone means that when you’re smiling people are more likely to engage in conversation with you. It also makes you appear less stressed than you probably are and makes it seem that you’re okay with what life has already thrown at you this morning; even if you aren’t. If you’re one of the people who are self-conscience about the smile you have, I relate. I was born without a muscle on the lower left part of my mouth (yes I’m serious) and was very self-conscience about fulling smiling till only a few years ago. It’s mostly because I decided nobody really notices and lots of ppl have crooked smiles and it’s considered attractive by many too so ha. But I also decided I didn’t care because I know I can’t change it (wouldn’t even if I could at this point) and it’s just the hand I was dealt. You’re beautiful; God does not make trash.

Sorry this post was late, happy Friday! 😀

The war between procrastination and productivity is a bloody one. We are constantly torn between doing what is good for us in the long term (our obligations, responsibilities, work we’ve said we would do), and what is willing to offer us instant gratification, giving us that quick dopamine fix. Picture this: You’ve just had a long, but successful day at work. You have gone to the gym and gotten that gnarly pump and have even done the dishes from last night! Wow look at you! Now there is one decision of the hundards you make a day: shall I do my homework or read my textbook like a good noodle? Or shall I watch the Office for the 14th time because I’m awesome and deserve it.

All too often the second option of this, or a similar scenario wins. There is a very small overlap between things you generally enjoy doing and will return the time investment you made in some form or fashion.
We know what it’s like to have these things, these hobbies, or interests. It’s the feeling of getting out of a rough day of middle school, but looking very much forward to soccer practice in the afternoon. It’s the feeling of actually wanting to get up on Saturday morning in order to get an early start on a book or game you love. These are the things that bring joy into our lives, and they can be different for everyone.
Once upon a time as a child, you have attracted things that interested you such as bugs or coloring, without any care for the judgment of others. In this stage of our lives, it was easy to pique our own interest because frankly, we knew very little about the world around us (and it is quite complicated). Unfortunately, as we grow older we find ourselves seeking to participate in things because of some misplaced group identity. This is a recipe for disaster because we will not be happy with ourselves unless we put our full heart into it, which no one (especially yourself) expects you to do if you don’t really want to do that thing. The things that we can put our full heart in will allow us to express ourselves in new ways and lead us to insight about ourselves and the world around us!

So now that we are older and have become full of distrust in the society we willingly participate in; how do we find things to do which we can call “Good”? Well, it’s as simple (and deceivingly so) as choosing a major. Find something you like to do, this is good, build on it. Within reason of course, if you like it, and it benefits you, your family and by extension your community; you should chase after it. While this seems somewhat abstract, I don’t mean for it to be. A few nights ago I was listening to music, this gave me joy, so I took some time to go down a few Spotify rabbit holes, and now I have a few new artists I like. Mono/Poly is an electronic hiphop producer who has connections with FlyingLotus. This guy makes some pretty unique instrumentals so if you’re a fan of edm, good beats, or something daft punk esq; you should check him out. After this I found Devonwho. This guy puts out some wacky stuff, but there’s always a diamond in the rough! This guy put out the song pretendingtowalkslow feat. Zeroh (no idea who that is) but it’s sort of a cloud rap/ballad song which is produced very well. Funny enough I think the album cover represents Lot’s wife from the Bible and I think the lyrics actually talk about the relationship between God the Devil and Humanity.

So recently my buddy Luke and I bought some skateboards in an attempt to learn to kick flip. So after becoming overly confident on the second day of our learning process; I decided it was time to “drop-in” the pool at the local skate park. With one foot on the tail, and the other hovering over the abyss I give what I thought could be my final instructions ever to Luke.

“If I knock myself out, just call 911. My mom does not need to know.”

I take a deep breath, say a quick prayer, and shift my weight forward. Next thing I know I am staring at the stars, I taste blood, and the back of my head is throbbing. “I’m never doing that again without a helmet” which is the truth. The next day while recovering from oral surgery; I decided to watch some videos on skating in an attempt to learn without actually having to practice. Since I was almost sure my fantastic plummet destroyed a few brain cells, I googled how to fall. I learned that falling properly is extremely important not only in skating but in many sports! The ideal fall is one where you tuck in your arms, and shift the momentum on towards your shoulder or side so you can roll out of it. Even though it will still hurt, this way is the easiest on your body and can prevent many long and short term injuries.

So basically there were two things I did wrong:

1. I could have been more prepared (googled it prior, and worn a helmet)
2. I should have realized that maybe practicing ollies or something would be more constructive than trying more advanced movements without any help.

What these things boil down to is being prepared, and not having tunnel vision. Falling is important though, because you gotta be willing to take a few spills if you want to tackle anything outside your comfort zone. So just like learning to fall physically, we must also learn to navigate emotional falls.

1. Prepare for things you want to do! I’m working with choir kids in my job right now and many of them want to try out for the all-region choir this fall. However, few, let me say again, few of them are using all the tools made available by my coworkers and me in order to be best prepared for the coming auditions. So trying to be better than a high-schooler; if we have a goal we are working towards it is important that we give ourself every advantage possible in order to have our best chance possible.
2. There are few genuinely “once in a lifetime” opportunities. Humans potential is also more or less infinite, meaning that when one door slams shut in your face, that’s ok because it was only one of one million and one doors. Chances are, you just weren’t worthy of that opportunity either, I’m not trying to be cruel, but life always has a way of working out. This also can serve the purpose to light the fire beneath someone who wants it, and I mean really wants it. I met a young lady recently who was telling me about all these things she was doing and I could see the passion; when I asked her what motivated her, she said “to prove people wrong” and that’s a dang good reason in my opinion.

Next time you take a stumble, or hit your head, ask yourself was I prepared? and is there another path I’d rather choose? Hopefully this is a more constructive outlet than beating yourself up, saying that you’re worthless. Because yes maybe you are worthless, but better to be worthless and self conscience about it than oblivious to you’re own failures which are a consequence of your worthlessness.

Thanks for reading, take care, you got this 🙂

Guys, School has started and while I am now motivated to do things (one of them is to succeed in school) the days are no longer, and nights no shorter than they have been for the past 3 months of summer.

So the problem is this: how do I excel social life, academia, and the personal goals I have taken on myself; all while getting sleep and taking care of my body. This gets tougher as I also realize that while academia may look more important to the third from the outside looking in, I owe it to myself to succeed in the promises I made myself first.

How can I expect others to trust and therefore respect me, if I cant trust and therefore respect myself?

When a few things go wrong and the scales seem to be tipping towards the favor of chaos one things must be said: Do not give up! When England looked like it would be the next country to fall during world war II Winston Churchill said a few famous words that have stuck with me for a long time.

“We shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender.”

Life is not one battle. Failure is not a person its a circumstance.

Well that needed to be said. So whilst fighting to be on top of everything I have had a hard time completing a blog post every week, it’s doable so I’m not going to give up. But the slump is a creative one, I’m having a hard time coming up with things that I find interesting to write about and topics I believe yall will find helpful.

So in an order to become more creative I will do the following, and if you want to do the same you can follow this list and let me know how it goes 🙂 (or give me some of your own tips, an email I check is eharris149@gmail.com).

1.Reading every day of any sort (does not include reading for academic purposes).

I think this will help me to get new views on things I know about, and also learn any views on things I don’t know about. Some books have stuck around for a long time and for some reason probably, I’d like to find out why.

2. Put myself outside of my comfort zone at least once day.

This could mean asking out a girl who is way out of my league (never the case) or asking for a recipe from your favorite restaurant. The point here is to try and ask for things you would think are automatic “no’s” but you just might get surprised; life has a way of doing that to you :).

3.Be consistant

Now this is the toughest one. No matter if I feel like it or not, I will go to the gym, do my homework, not tell the person off who just cut me off on highway, be dilligant in my studies, and write something at least for my blog every week 🙂

have a dope week :~D

How we should treat our family, new acquaintances, and even people we just met is something I have been trying to figure out for awhile. My current solution, or default setting, is to treat everyone like royalty.

This does not mean becoming a “yes man” or “doormat”. While it might seem that is what I am saying, read on. If a Queen is talking to you, or you are often in her presence, that means you must be on, or at least close to her social level (and since there is no caste system this is true, you’re royal too! :D).

This means you should act in a way which commands and exudes respect i.e. not being a total jester, in this metaphor. It’s okay of course, to joke around. But read the room, be tasteful.

Pretending someone is royalty also entails that you will consider their needs and wants; on a level at, or above your own. This is because, after all, they could play a pretty big role in your own life. Whether you “vibe” with them or not. So how you treat them today could hurt or help you in the long run.

I’m sure that anyone reading this is already aware that there are people we encounter that we most certainly do not “vibe with”. Even though we may not prefer to interact with these individuals, we must because work, family, or social settings dictate so. Which means the temptation is present to mistreat or throw them under the bus because well, “they’re a toolbag” or “have not been nice to me” or “smells kinda terrible”. These may be valid reasons for spite or malice, but never an excuse to do wrong.

but why shouldn’t we repay annoyance with annoyance?

Well, most of us can point to a corrupted leader or individual with relative power somewhere in recent history. Just as true as Carl Jung’s 12 archetypes, there is always a villain for every hero. What if you were unintentionally manufacturing a villainous threat, the likes of which you would have to face down the road. This is a scary thought, not a fantasy, it is commonly known bullying is a catalyst for suicide and suicidal rampages like columbine.

If you were the advisor to a king, and you misinformed or mistreated that king, it might not only turn out poorly for you, it might turn out poorly for a whole nation.

Again this doesn’t mean kiss booties or place yourself in uncomfortable situations, it means be respectful and be honest to everyone as often as possible. It might turn out good for you!

I write about this not only because I think it’ll help anyone make true friends, but also because it is something I have hard time doing, it’s easy to quickly make assumptions about someone based on trivial things or single sided stories. Gossip is wrong!

Thanks for reading, your Highness

The largest organism in the world is not an apex predator, nor something gone extinct many years ago, but a fungus found in the mountains of Oregon. The “Armillaria ostoyae” is recorded covering about 2,400 acres which is about 4 square miles. “Populus tremuloides” is an aspen found in North America, the special thing about it though; is that many of the trees are actually connected by their roots! Contrast to the t-rex or blue whale, the biggest living organisms are not apex predators. On the contrary, you could almost call them apex protectors! Their exact impact on the environment that these massive plants have is immeasurable, but obviously impactful on the ecosystem.

The point to be made here is this: to become something greater than your current state, it is not necessary to exhaust resources and opportunities for yourself. Working in harmony, not in-sighting chaos, is a highly effective stagey for cultivating growth in all aspects of your life.

I really believe this. How many times has getting tilted at anything actually helped you?

Focusing on negatives will not spur growth, it takes energy to do anything. If that energy is focusing on negative aspects than you’ll get a negative return of energy. If you focus on positives, than you’ll have positive returns!

SO what is the formula for positive growth? Well, lets look at the biggest organisms for guidance. Plants need three things, sunlight, soil and water. Metaphorically we need these things too.

Water. We need to give our body sustenance for success! This means drinking lots and lots of water, if you need some inspiration just check out r/hydrohomies haha. It is also important for you to have a balanced diet! Not too much of anything but remember to get some fiber, protein, and diary for strong bones! (A little exercise and sleep wouldn’t hurt either).

Soil. This is arguably the most important, if there is no soil, how can a seed take roots? The soil for us is our surroundings. This includes friend group and the scenarios we willingly put ourselves in each and every day. Having good friends which make you laugh constantly is an amazing feeling, it is also nice to know you can have people you can depend on for a good opinion about life issues. The opposite is true for toxic people, if you get no enjoyment out of seeing them or talking with them, cut them out. Block, delete, tell their face, or all the above; some people just aren’t worth it. Environment means more than where you like to read or hang out, it refers to focusing on how to enhance positive aspects of your life, and minimize negative ones. This seems obvious but its not always easy to recognize. If you have a bad habit, you cant just say “I’m going to stop _________”. You need to find what your train of thought is before you want to do _______. Then cope with that which is the source.

Light. Ah yes, the sun, the giver of all energy. Light has inherent properties, one of them being, brightness. It’s hard to explain what I mean by needing light in your life, because I’m not really sure what you need in your life. It is easy though to tell if something is wholesome; just imagine your 9 year old self is hanging out with you!

If a tree has these three things, it wont stop growing, and since you’re the main character in your own life, it only makes sense you dont either.

Thanks for reading! 😀

Okay guys its time for a heart to heart.

Life ain’t easy, its true we like to complicate it; I mean what do we actually need beyond food, water, and shelter? But it would still be nice to have a road map (which is why I like talking to old people). I don’t have a road map but I’ll happily offer what assistance I’m able.

We all know what the word “no” means, but if you want to become a master of your own life, there are three types of “no” you must learn to deal with and control. The first one is learning how to take “no” from others. We are emotional creatures and it can hurt us when things don’t go our way. When we want something, imagining the “better” reality where that thing happens then hear “no” we can get upset. Getting rejected is a bummer, and our feelings tend to focus one what could have been. The thing is though, these “no’s” usually aren’t intended as a personal attack to hurt our feelings, so don’t get upset with yourself or someone rejecting your! (even though your a total catch *cough cough* Kaylee *cough cough*). If we wanna become stronger, we must take these rejections not as the closing of a door, but as the opening of one thousand new ones! Redirection not rejection!

The second type of no is the one you must learn to dish out yourself. Everyone has a different moral code and set of priorities, but it is good for you and others to help friends or people in need. It can also be nice to go to events (ones you don’t really care about) to support a friend or family member! This doesn’t mean you wanna become butter spread over too much bread however, and by that I mean over extend yourself to the point of exhaustion or ignoring your own health. I don’t just mean physical either everyone has a balance of going out to staying in that they’re comfortable with, and its important to find yours too. It’s also worth mentioning that people will not you if you speak up for yourself, and if they do; you were probably better off without this friend anyway. You’re important, and what you care about matters too <3 so tell’em no!

Ok so you’ve mastered how the outside environment treats you with the first one, the second one allows you to effect your environment in the way that suits you best. The third type of no, which is the hardest for me admittedly, is the one you must learn to tell yourself. This one is seems simple but I would like to dive into the profound effects real quick. When you tell somebody no, you mean there is a 0% chance of this thing happening. If you really tell yourself no and mean it, then you can change your destiny; today. I’m not talking about the “oh I’m on a diet I’ll say no to this pizza today”, or the “no I don’t wanna do that because I did that last time and didn’t like the ramifications!”. It’s those statements from your inner dialogue to the Nth degree. “I wont eat that pizza until I meet my weight goal” or “I wont do that because It wont make me better”. These examples may be kind of abstract but imagine the metaphysical properties of a self created maxim. If tomorrow you were to say “no” to lying, or drugs, or racism, or whatever forever, who would you become? If you say “no” and really mean it you really could pull a 180 in life, no matter where you are 🙂

Aim high people, thanks for reading!