Author: eharris149

I specifically remember thinking in 5th grade that my life was something like a movie or video game. This is because, at a young age I recognized a pattern.

1. Unpredictable things happen
2. I choose my reaction to the unpredictable thing
3. my action reacts with the unpredictable thing
4. causing again: Unpredictable things to happen

This pattern made me feel like I was living out some kind of 24 hour movie everyday (or maybe a show, because no one would sit in a theater for that long) or playing some kind of video game. I never remember bringing this to the attention of anyone but I suspect other people have felt this way.

So you can imagine my confusion when my friend made the comment: “I bet you think you’re the main character huh”. My response of course was well, of course, I do, don’t you? This provocation has led me to further explore this idea, in my own head and rarely with others.

What is my conclusion? and do I have a big ego? Well, if we specify the question to “Am I the main character of my own life?” the answer seems to be very strongly yes for each of us. What do we consider the main character in a show but the person who we see and learn the most of.; or the one who participates in the most story arcs. Since we constantly learn about our own responses to things, see our own hands and bodies, and see ourselves (hopefully) grow over time, it seems we must be the MC. So yes, I would say each one of us is the star of our own blockbuster film in one way.

It is also true that you will only ever be able to see through your own eye’s and live with your own brain, putting your individual experiences in a place of power above others around you. Making your “individual story line” more impactful than even those of your closest friends. This thinking does tend to be egocentric, so be careful! There is a big difference between thinking “I am in control of a few things in my life that no one else is” and thinking “I’m the only one who matters”.

We might be the ones who control a few things in our own lives but we also control a few things in the lives of all those who we come into contact with. So just remember, while you do get to play yourself in a wonderful exciting movie, acting with love to those around you will improve everyone’s movie even your own.

thanks,

A great friend of mine about 3 years ago told me that we should eliminate the word need from our vocabulary. “It makes us sound weak, as if there is something outside our control that we cannot live without” he said. Although most people don’t think in such dramatic terms, he was right.

Another good buddy of mine just a few days ago also brought up this concept of wants vs needs. He spoke on the fact that there are only very few things we need and that most things we think about can be put in the want category. I think more often about the dream car or bike I want than where that thing would be getting me. I think more often about food that tastes great rather than food that has all components needed to fuel me for the day.

It seems like our big pictures are often clouded by the desire to show off or experience luxury. Now in itself, this isn’t necessarily a problem, but when the desire to show off or live cushily becomes a need in our lives; then we will experience issues. Things will be of less or greater value not based on function, but on clout or something of the sort.

This obviously leads to a life of people-pleasing and “chasing the bag” as the kids say. So what can you do to not fall into this trap? Well for one, you can start by eliminating that pesky word need from your vocabulary. Instead try, “wouldn’t it be nice if” or the more regal “you know, it’d suit my fancy if”.

If you think you might already be trapped by the trappings I would advise that you spend some time, a day or a week or even longer, and try to live as minimally as possible. You might miss things like a weighted blanket, or endless shows on netflix or youtube but you may realize just how good life is.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with having a comfortable life, but seeing things for what they are, can really put things in perspective.

As most of you probably know, I suffer from a man-made disease called braces. So the other day (yesterday) I was eating lunch and watching my computer to make sure it didn’t run away. While I was eating I said to myself, “self, something is wrong. My mouth hurts, B A D“. So I went to the mirror and my bottom wire had broken and was now digging far into my gum. Owwie. So my thought process went like this. Well, that is a bummer but I only have to wait one more day until my appointment, surely I can wait that long. Then I walked back to my desk.

In less than ten seconds I think enough is enough. I get up to go across the house to get a pair of wire cutters, bring them to the bathroom, opened up as wide as I could, stuck those puppies in there and yeeted that wire right outta there. I pulled it out without any consequences! I went to the Ortho today and they didn’t chew me out or anything!

As I like to blow things out of their proportionate context; I believe there is a lesson in this. Sometimes waiting is not the answer. Sometimes doing what you can, although not a 100% solution, may make you feel much better.

Let’s take some examples. I recently finished my application for a university that shall remain nameless. A hint is that it rhymes with Shamu LOL. Ok, so I finished the essays, hit submit, sent in about a billion transcripts, and now; I am wait. Anxious? Maybe. Worried? Kinda. Anxious? Most definitely. BUT, will this help me at all? Nope. So what can I do? Can I take it into my hands and break into the registrar’s office and stamp a picture of my face with the word “ACCEPTED” in red and leave it on a desk? Probably not. What I can do however is follow up in person to make sure things are going swimmingly.

The number 1 fear in America is neither death nor loneliness, but public speaking! I can’t relate as I love attention. So what do you do if you’re assigned a speech? Maybe for a class, or maybe in front of coworkers. You probably don’t forget about it, in fact, you probably start to review the material. ALOT. The more familiar you become with what you’re going to say, the easier it becomes for you (hopefully) to envision yourself succeeding.

The point is, focus not on what you can’t do, but rather what you can! It’s much more comforting focusing on that. If it is truly out of your hands 100% than hey, why worry!

\ (•◡•) / thanks for reading \ (•◡•) /

So not really but I did torque my foot so bad that I now require crutches to get around. And it is terrible.

Showering now takes twice as long and is a death trap on one crutch. Forgot phone upstairs? that’s another 20minutes. Bringing food from the kitchen to where ever takes about 3 trips. I’m forced to sleep in one position, and in the morning it hurts ever so badly.

The point is there are a lot of small adjustments I need to make. All and all though I’m still mostly alright, I can think clearly, I don’t spend all my time in the hospital bed, I can still go places in the car. It could be worse!

So here I am enjoying early retirement. I wake up, without an alarm of course. I hobble downstairs to make some tea and toast and admire the sun shining through the window. I limp to the dining room table carrying one thing at a time (mustn’t spill the tea now) and find the chair in which I will spend the majority of my day.

I had a really good idea for a blog post; it came to me last night while I was falling asleep, oh well.

So recently I got a check from my boss and spent it all in one day. I bought a meal with a friend, a new controller for melee, a new wallet, some socks, and a new pair of shoes.

I do not regret any of my purchases but it just goes to show you have fast money evaporates.

I’d been looking for a new pair of casual shoes for a while but never found one which really spoke to me. Being about 90+ dollars I decided to wait for “the one”. When I bought my new adidas I was very excited to wear them. I thought, and so did my friends, that they were totally sweet. Definitely “me” (whatever that entails).

I tell you all this to lead up to the present. It is 6:48 AM and I am sitting in shipleys without any money to buy a doughnut. It is torture. I specifically got up and decide to come to spend some time here and try and get some work done. But alas, I had remembered that I was basically broke because I lost my wallet a few weeks ago.

Now I am paying the price for those shoes. It isn’t that I regret buying those shoes so much as the timing.

My point with this pointless story is not to worry about things you don’t need if you aren’t first comfortable with things you need. I guess this is obvious but I would actually have a problem if I needed to buy groceries and not a doughnut. Yes, I would look fresh while starving but I’d rather be full than have shoes on I don’t wanna get dirty.

So moral of the story: Don’t lose your wallet and also make a budget and finally do not go to the mall with a wallet full of cash.

Hopefully, everyone had a good Christmas break/vacation. The weather in Texas has been a bit warm for December, but what am can we do? Spending time with friends and family is always a good time. Even if it isn’t argument free.

So, a new year. The Earth did a whole big lap around the sun! It’s exciting because in one way we are back where we started! In another, however, the human race and everyone still alive has aged a year. Each history book gets a year older, the current fashion is now a thing of the past and about 18 thousand years of youtube were uploaded, and so much more.

This begs the question, what will you do with the new year?

I for one love new year’s resolutions! I think that even if you can’t keep it 100% it’s still a valiant effort to better oneself.

So I did make a couple of resolutions and I feel that saying them or writing them, in this case, will help me stay accountable. So here are 3 of my new goals.

Develop A Reading Habit

I think this one is probably a pretty common goal as people know there are benefits to reading. Expanding vocabulary, getting new points of view, and learning are just a few that are so accessible for even the most beginner readers. Which is me. So how will I do this? Well, I already have a few interesting books picked out, and books interesting to me! not some high school English teacher or college board. Second, I will start small reading maybe a few pages each day. This way I am not setting expectations (which I’ve done in the past) such as “I’m gonna ready one book a month” or something rigid like that. Hopefully picking up a book will just become a habit soon because of these things and I’ll become a more avid reader.

Double Down On Productive Hobbies

This blog, for instance, has seen a lack of posts recently. It isn’t because I’ve stopped like the idea of sharing my thoughts to the world, or that I have enjoyed writing in general. It is mostly because I’ve put more time into unproductive hobbies. Learning the difference between “””relaxing””” and “””spending a whole afternoon on something for which I have nothing to show””” is still something I haven’t yet perfected. I assume that learning to better manage myself will be something I’ll be working on till I die though. That being said, I think a safe bet would be not to give up! Yes, I want to play melee and csgo all day. But I also want to improve this blog, my health, my relationships with friends, and so much more. So I will double down and try to give it my all 🙂

Consider the Impact of My Actions on Others

This last one is simple but very dear to my heart. I am now at a point in my life where I know how most of my choices will affect me. Physically, and mentally. I know how to keep myself safe and have the confidence to bounce back from anything. But and its a big but. The earth does not revolve around me. So I want to take my empathy to the next level and put others before myself. Easy to say but hard to do.

Apologies that this post was a few days late but thank you none the less for reading! I hope this year treats you right and even if it doesn’t I know you can make this the best year you’ve ever had.

In the past, I have written on slumps. Currently, I find myself in the unique position of being in a slumpish state. However, I am not worried nor critical of myself in this sparse drought of “I don’t wanna do anything; nor do I remember a good enough reason to do anything”. This is for a couple of reasons.

The first reason, and most important, is I know my trajectory is ever aiming to the stars! To say this another way, I believe in myself! Took time to build this, but I imagine if you look back on your life it’s amazing you made it this far! This means there isn’t any reason to believe you won’t continue to pleasantly surprise yourself in the future.

The second reason and the topic this blog post is centered around is I have a plan! No, it isn’t an Eric specific plan. This means you can do it too if you ever feel stuck or maybe like the old way of doing things isn’t working as it once did.

There is a delusional concept that inspiration, motivation, and action must occur in this order. This is because of the following, or similar to the following, logic. If something were to give you an idea (inspiration), and that idea seemed it might reduce some unnecessary suffering in your life (motivation), you might actually make it happen (action). This single track A -> B and B -> C maybe the “psychological process” of a robot, though humans are not so simple.

You see, these stages actually belong to a cyclical relationship in a never-ending loop. This means you can start and get stumped, on any of the three. So how does this much more flexible reasoning come about?

Well, after spending a long time on any sort of project, nobody likes to be disappointed in their own hard work. Even when we try our best on something, be it our grades, health, savings, etc. we can come up short to our original perceptions. This is where we meet a fork in the road. Do we give up? taking our learned lessons in shame and admitting defeat? Or do we glean inspiration from our actions, letting our imaginations not run wild with the catastrophe of defeat; but fervently blossom with the possibility for things to come.

The awesome thing though, is that there is no real place to start! It’s ok to fail. If you really want to pursue something which seems to be kicking your rear, (school, for example, we all know I don’t have that problem hahahaaha) try asking yourself, which of the three things (motivation, inspiration, action) you have; and go from there. Or, start at any spot and just sit down near your homework. That’s an action! who knows maybe motivation will strike 🙂

So in the times where it doesn’t seem worth to clean your room fine, start somewhere else. Listen to your favorite song or a motivational speech, go for a walk or make a nice breakfast. But do something with a purpose, don’t just aimlessly watch snapchat stories in bed for an hour. What kinda way is that to start the day?

You got this 🙂

So much is happening

And I’m only 21.

Sometimes I feel I’ve much to do

And sometimes I feel I’m done.

Is my toil really for nothing?

Have I really missed the mark?

Nah It can’t be true,

And I refuse to sit in the dark.

I’m confident in what I’ve chosen

And I’m ready to start.

No more turning around

Life’s a journey,

And I’m ready to embark.

Thanks for reading guys! I get the hankering to write a short poem every now and again 😀

Being loud and having something important to say are not prerequisites for being heard. I am sure you’ve realized it but the mostly silent revolution of social media is changing how people interact and how culture changes.

So why is it then that so many people go through life feeling unheard especially when people on the other side of the planet are more accessible? I think it is because listening is so hard to come by.

This is understandable because it takes a lot of emotional and mental energy to truly listen to someone. Their body language, word choice, and reading between the lines all play a part in being a good listener. Good listening isn’t without reward though! When you listen to others you often become better friends and they’ll probably be more willing to listen to you as well. So everybody wins!

It’d be ideal to have someone to listen tentatively and help you sort your problems 24/7. It’d be nice if empathy was that present but I don’t think it will ever be :<. This cannot stop us from fixing things in our lives though! Everyone has an important thing to say or funny story to tell (they might not tell it well but practice makes perfect!) so you be the bigger man and lend an ear.

Another component in being heard is a wandering mind. This doesn’t mean when someone else is talking to zone out like a space cadet. I mean that when you’re alone you can’t be afraid of where your thoughts take you. If you want to know why the sun isn’t burning space then ask someone. If you want to know what someone thinks about you ask them. If you have a question in class, ask the person right next to you, and if they give u a weird look just ask the teacher. I know far too many people who are afraid to ask questions in a high school or college environment. Who cares if that cute girl thinks you’re dumb you probably weren’t gonna talk to her anyway; isn’t passing more important?

The third and most crucial part for volume is health! That’s right! take ur vitami…. No seriously, realize that while being heard is a great way to transfer ideas and make friends interact with the world is important. It is not, however, more important than your soul. If a group of people expects you to sell out for their ideas so you can “be a cool kid” then forget that man.

In regards to health, I think you can usually check the guage by taking a look at your ego. Am I trying to just get attention? Do I want these friends to make myself feel good? Am I beating around the bush of what I actually want to say? All these questions should help you figure out if your communication is truly coming from the heart.

If it is, then don’t give up, you will be heard!

“One voice speaking truth is a greater force than fleets and armies” -Ursula K. Le Guin

The devil is in the details. And not always the kind of details on a tax form or a few questions you missed on a test, but the ones you nonchalantly worked out for convenience; probably long ago, without much, if any thought at all. So what happened next? Well, minutes turned hours, hours to days, and days to years. The exception became the rule and the one coffee from Starbucks in the morning instead of pot coffee turned into hundreds of dollars spent a year. Snoozing the alarm and going back to sleep became pushing back a whole day’s schedule for a few extra minutes in the safety of your bed. The cliche of a seemingly insignificant action snowballing into a large catastrophe is known as the butterfly effect. More than likely the butterfly effect plays out in our lives daily. After all the path most traveled is the path of least resistance and we usually call this path “habits”.

Good or bad habits usually rule a large part of our day. Habits can be very mindful decisions made day after day, adding purpose to your life and making the doer a better person in general. Habits can also be simple things with unintended consequences that require no thought process and are wasting your time, money, and life. Habits have essentially written your past, control the present, and simultaneously predict the future. So if something usually was a certain way, then unless you have found a better way or developed reasoning for why the current way is invalid, that probably is how things are.

Chances are we all have some habits we would like to change. Very few things worth doing can be done without trying and effort. Changing a daily or even weekly routine requires much effort. A huge reason this is the case is that your life is already tuned to do the things you have been doing. You might find yourself driving the same way home as you always do, right by McDonald’s but you cant give in if you wanna lose that weight! Why take away the things in life that give you a little joy in a world that is full of hardships? Well, suffering gives us the opportunity to grow and get stronger. Nobody should have been able to survive the holocaust, but they did. You are stronger then you can imagine, so noticing what you can shed is a blessing not a curse of correction! When we make a conscious effort to drop the things we don’t need, the things that are hurting us, it can actually be painful. This is could be a boyfriend/girlfriend, drugs, bad entertainment, etc.. It’s painful because we are pruning the tree, we’re ripping off the leaches and extracting the tapeworms. This is not suffering for no reason, however, all turmoil is prosperous and when a blister is gone a callus takes its place.

How can someone just change a habit in one day they don’t like about themselves? If I knew a magic formula I’d probably be rich, but I believe the key factor is determination. “If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always had”. So basically if you want something that you don’t have, you gotta try something that you never have. So how do you change a habit? The same way you made it, one day at a time. One thing that helps me to shorn away things I don’t like about myself is to remember the low points. Don’t blame yourself for losing that soccer game, blame the bad habits you let yourself fall into and change them. Try writing down how you feel about the low points and reread it often.

It takes conscious effort for you to change a habit you have. But in doing so the reward is potentially limitless, the butterfly effect works both ways.